i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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