I can text with my tongue
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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