We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
