NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
