Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
