I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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