So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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