dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
