Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
