There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
