I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
