goodnight i made you a song goodbye
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if only i could text you this smell
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
