Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize