do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
