My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
