do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
