This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
