I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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