I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
