I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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