Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
