That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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