Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
