We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
