I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
ok first of all what the fuck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
