she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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