just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
