umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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