based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
