She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just found puke in my bra..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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