scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
