How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
