K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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