How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
