Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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