I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize