But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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