She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
