You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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