if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do vagina's smell?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize