Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
