Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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