New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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