I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
