My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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