Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
