Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
