ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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