My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
