So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
