i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
