I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
