saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
please come you make the beer taste better
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize