physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
