yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
