I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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