I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize