You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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