We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They have beer where we have blood.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
