i think my tv is drunk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
