I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
