i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize